Update, FINALLY

It is amazing how busy we have been since I last blogged. Lila will be 5 months old this month. I can't believe how fast time has gone by. TLC filmed our story for a show called Baby's First Day. As the air date approaches I am not sure how I feel. I had a very rough time with the labor process and how things turned out. I am OK with the fact that I had a C-section, we would have ended up in an emergency one anyway if we hadn't already made the decision. Lila was facing the wrong direction, and never turned properly. I am still struggling with the fact that after 36 hours of the labor process and everything we had go on and occasionally go wrong, I was the last person to actually see and hold Lila. Once they got her out, the I.V pole was in my way and then I had to get "knocked" out since I started yelling from being able to feel pain on the table. Because of that I had a longer recovery process to wake up from and after delivering Lila 7 hours earlier, I was finally able to hold her. I guess I am not sure how I feel watching this go on. I don't know how the episode is being aired-we share a half hour show with another birth story-but I am not really sure I am ready to watch this happen again. I don't really expect anyone to comment on this, it is just kind of cathartic to write how I feel down.